How do I approach my spouse with concerns about his/her weight?

Heather Sholl
Concierge Wellness Coach February 2021

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How do I approach my spouse with concerns about his/her weight?

The tough reality is, there is no guarantee you can motivate them to change. The first thing to ask yourself is why do you want them to change? Are you concerned for their health? Are you feeling disappointed in a change in their commitment to their appearance that you expect? Weight is a sensitive issue and if you’re pretending your concern is about health when it’s really about appearance, you can bet they’ll know the truth. When one of you is focused on health and the other is not, it can drive a wedge of frustration between you. Focus on deciding what you want for your lives and your experiences than your spouse’s weight. Set up a date to talk about and work together to find activities and foods or restaurants you can experience together. I have worked with many couples to do this and it becomes a fun way to reinvent their relationship, particularly after their children are out of the house. When the goals are about your relationship and creating a plan for long term activities you can enjoy together, it becomes less of an attack and more of a productive discussion together. We may not focus on it all the time, but there is real value to creating a plan for enjoying your life together once your kids are out of the house.

And for those with grandkids, think about the value of your independence and your health - they are synonymous! January is the perfect time for renewed commitment!

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